the tapeworm part is my new positive mantra
2004-11-29

As I was sitting here extra-late, I came to a stunning realization - I've lost my oldest friend.

No, not as if she had died or anything. Just that our lives have drifted so far apart that I don't think there's any way to get them back together again. We used to run in the same circle of friends ages ago, but we very slowly drifted apart until I realized that she's totally enmeshed in this group that I know nothing about. If we were all together, they would have everything in common, and I would have the time in high school when we remade the Spice Girls movie using a home video camera. (I was Ginger. Oh Christ.) Anyway, we Have Nothing in Common, like the opposite of the Whitney Houston song is playing over the end of our relationship as we frolic at the separate ends of a pool or something.

It's really too bad as we've been friends since elementary school. On the other hand, my life doesn't revolve around the mythical sex acts of Harry Potter characters, so it's really not that too bad.

(OK, said friend is a Peace Corps volunteer in an impoverished African country and therefore her life really revolves around helping malnourished babies. But I'm a better person because I can read the Harry Potter books without then writing drawn-out stories about Snape raping Harry in the broom closet.)

Oh, this is all angsty and bla bla, but otherwise I'd be looking up names in a database. Which probably illustrates why her life is more spiritually fulfilling than mine, but we can't all be Henrietta Helpful, can we? Some of us have to be Henrietta Looking-Things-Up-In-A-Database. It isn't nearly as fun but at least we have less chance of getting a tapeworm.