the saddest part is the part with the peanut
2004-12-29

Oh no, Jerry Orbach died too? I'm so sad, I cried. Well, actually, only out of one eye because I hit myself in the eye with a peanut while eating a candy bar. But still, it's sad.

There should really be a "Cherry Orbach" ice cream flavor in his memory.

Some people say they're petty. Well, I will show you petty, bitches.

Moral question of the day:
If you give to charity, does that mean that you have the moral right to spend money on yourself?

You see, I gave to charity earlier today. $20, which isn't much, although I could make the argument that it is a lot considering my current income and money supply.

But you see, I am suffering too. The zipper broke on my purse. So I brought an old one out and then the zipper began to break on that one as well. Its nasty pleathery brownness and general lack of functionality remind me of Dick Clark. I hate my purse.

But I was going to stick with this purse because I have no money and a whopping credit card debt that will probably go with me to my grave. Until I realized that hey, it's post-Christmas, and people are racking in the goods. And since I did a good deed today, does that mean that my moral goodness trumps my lack of financial responsibility? To the point where I can spend six times as much on myself as I did on Doctors Without Borders? On a purse?

Super-Update:
Coworker just came into office whining that she can't buy herself a pink mini-iPod. Apparently it's a choice between her rent and an iPod.

YOU ALREADY BOUGHT AN IPOD AND YOU TOLD ME YOU HATED IT!

(Yes, I have an iPod but I got it through a Ponzi scheme, oops through my own hard work and goodness. So it was free. And besides I can't actually get any songs for it as no one I know has or can afford the computer equipment necessary to get songs on the damn thing.)

So don't come in here and tell me how you're about to waste your family's checks on something you already have. I didn't get any family checks, I got a book and a train ticket and a (useless) iPod gift certificate. Which actually comes out to quite a lot but because I don't want to hear it, I won't! So there!

(I used to get checks from various members of my family but my grandmother is old and rather out of her head and gave away all her money to charity and the Republican National Committee, and everybody else is either dead or hates us, so whatever I get in generous money contributions comes from those whose genetic material gave me life.)

In any case I am afraid that I came off without sympathy, basically because I am without sympathy, but still it's wrong to be angry at someone for wanting expensive things when you want them yourself. Although, damn, it's over $200! Plus, I gave to charity so I can go ahead and buy myself some $150 purse! It's like the divine right of kings or something definitive along those lines.

Eh, I'm angry because I'll be good and won't get the purse. I will still have an ugly purse that doesn't really serve its purpose of safely holding my belongings but I will have the emotional satisfaction that comes from not using the deaths of 77,000 people to justify buying a purse. Oooooh who has the moral high ground now! I WIN!

Hm, I could just buy the damn purse because I'm vain. That works.

How petty was I? Let's tally it up:

1. blatant hypocrisy as to the importance of my desires and the desires of others
2. use of horrible tragedy to justify vanity purchase
2a. use of horrible tragedy in reference to my spending habits at all
3. nasty reference to Dick Clark
4. desire to outdo others leading to display of base behavior, which is pretty lousy in and of itself