don't LOOK AT ME
2005-05-17

I adore compliments. No, I lie. I'm vain, but I'm also neurotic, meaning that I always wonder if the person is complimenting me because they genuinely like, say, a handbag. I always think that perhaps the complimenter just finds everything else I have on so fucking hideous that the item in question pops out as a island of decency in a sea of ugliness.

This is a serious issue. I was talking with a friend about blogs, specifically about whether she should make her blog more about her personal experiences. I told her that she shouldn't write about the minutae of her life if she doesn't want to, and then we got on to talking about city blogs and how generally they're so much cooler than we can ever hope to be, etc. This led to me thinking that there's three categories of personal websites I read:

1. websites about people who are Going Places and want to take you along on their Exciting Journey of Life (or at least have you stare jealously at their itinerary). I can't read these too long or I will get violent on the computer's ass - "This fucktard has a book deal! What is the world coming to?" - because I have a very limited capacity for empathy, at least empathy for strangers on the Internet who are better off than I am.
2. friends' websites. This is more like having a little newspaper of your friend's life, even if it doesn't go into personal details very often. There are a few people I would sort into this category that I don't actually know, as I'm genuinely interested in what they have to say and in the details of their lives (god, I sound like a voyeur).
and now we come to...
3. Schadenfreude sites. You know that, no matter how bad off you may be, at least you're not poor X. Good for rainy days or times when you're just feeling down.

I wonder who reads my diary, and what categories of reader they would fit into. Probably not many of 1, hopefully mostly 2, and probably a few more than I'd want in category 3. Those of you who aren't stumbling over the site looking to satisfy your lust for "human mannequin," that is.