my couture lifestyle
2005-05-23

I had sworn off Lucky magazine (�The Magazine About Shopping�) after Jon Stewart described it as �for retards.� If somehow Jon Stewart passed me by on the street and wanted to talk to me (a situation which is extremely likely to happen) what if he saw me reading Lucky and thought I was retarded? But I decided that it was finally OK to buy a copy because with the coming of InsideTV (�Rob and Amber � Behind the Smiles!) there is finally a stupider magazine on the newsstand. Anyway, wrong idea, because Lucky�s format is that they will put one piece that a human being could conceivably afford right next to six $250 shirts. Somebody must be buying them, but that person was probably born with an entire silver spoon collection popping out of their mouth. Either that or the person is independently successful, in which case they�re out doing something intensely lucrative and not reading Lucky on the couch while debating whether to get out of their pajamas. Plus the �what to wear at work� section was intensely depressing, as it just reminded me that whatever future career I have it will probably be one where my coworkers think I am a snob for dressing nicely and I will eventually be forced to gain 20 pounds so I can fit into sweatshirts with kitten appliqu�s on the front. I will also have to wear earrings shaped like ladybugs and bees. And possibly paisley.

Anyway, it�s summer, so I can�t wear decent clothes anyway due to me being winter white. I am certainly looking forward to a hot NYC summer, because once it gets disgustingly humid and sticky people stop talking about their incredibly hot spring flings with that guy they met two and a half years ago, and go back inside to hibernate in the air conditioning. Where are these people coming from, anyway, that all their past loves are quite willing to pick right up where they left off, instead of pretending not to know each other so as not to recall past Walks of Shame? I can�t wait til it gets really repulsive out and people stop socializing again, except now that I think about it these re-hookups will probably be spending romantic weekends at the beach where it is relaxing and beautiful and doesn�t smell like melting tar, meanwhile the best I can hope for is not to run into certain people at postcollegiate keg parties. So, really I can�t wait till fall.