variety is dead and i can't stop crying
2004-12-06

VH1, masters of the past.

How bizarre. I didn't know that it was even possible to feel nostalgia for the past week.

Maybe this is a new development in our culture, something like the Japanese aesthetic - everything dies, so when we recognize beauty the recognition is accompanied by the painful knowledge that that beauty must someday fade. But that knowledge makes the appreciation all the sweeter.

Then again, the Japanese were talking about the short life of the cherry blossom. We're talking about the short career of the dude who played Mini-Me. That's just messed up and wrong.

If you take the idea of this "nostalgia" absolutely straight, it means that the vast majority of people are on such downward paths in life that they want to desperately cling to the last week. I mean, last week? What the hell happened? (OK, you might have gotten a promotion or made a new friend or had amazing sex or a birthday or a baby. But if you are reading this right now, I doubt VH1 cares about that.) Is anyone really sitting there, watching footage of Wilmer Valderrama and Lindsey Lohan, and crying that this moment will never come again? And if you are, can I track you down and beat you?

I could go on and on about how VH1 is homogenizing everybody's past as well as their present. But for the moment, whoever is doing "The 20/50/100 Best/Worst/Sexiest Songs/Videoes/Moments Ever" series, will you stop making the C-list comedians repeat the title of the show every damn moment? It sounds like they're dictating a college application essay. "The reason that "Final Countdown" is one of the Top 50 Worst Songs Ever..."

Can't wait til Thursday! See you soon Edwin!