this diary is worthless w/o CELEBRITY CAMEOS!
2005-07-29

The proportion of time lived in New York to celebrities spotted is way off. Just like scripted television, my life is worthless without appearances by celebrities. Once I saw Will Smith because I accidentally walked by the MTV studios while TRL was taping, and I also saw Alec Baldwin doing some film in Union Square. And on the way to a protest during the Republican convention apparently Lizzie Grubman was pulling up in a limo right behind me but my head was turned. Oh well.

Anyway, the only way I would ever be famous is if I went missing (and even then I'm not blonde so I doubt anybody would search too hard) as I have no other major talents, dubious or otherwise. Others need to shine their light near me, so I can bask in the very outskirts of their glory for a fleeting second.

Actually I hate celebrity stalking, because there's nothing worse than tromping around trying to find people more important than you as they do exciting things like eat and talk into their cell phones incomprehensibly, so they can shoot glances of loathing at you as you peer at them. I think this illustrates my fundamental disconnect to human society or maybe I'm just really fucking lazy.

This diary is also worthless because I have to buy another gold membership to keep up such wonderful privileges as posting pictures and having notes nobody signs instead of a guestbook nobody signs. Oh, and stats. Which I also get for free from somewhere else, and that even gives me timezones and things. Oh, without a gold membership I wouldn't have a background on my diary. Then I'd either have to use one of the ugly templates or I'd have to move to Blogspot or Blogger or whatever they're using in the real non-Diaryland Interwebs and make everything very short commentary and links. Or I'd have to go to Livejournal. Maybe that last bit will scare someone into buying a membership for me. I will write you a fanfiction if you buy me diary time! Hooray, Internet barter!