never to know the SECRET OF THE BEES
2005-04-28

I'm happier now because now that I'm not working, I have more things to do with my time. If I'm on the Internet, I'm like "well, I don't have to be surfing the Internet or playing Solitaire or standing in a doorway*. I can talk to people with real names!" I can read and watch movies and talk to people and run around on a treadmill at the gym and do various other things that are really very simple but were hard beforehand because I was busy bitching and moaning and clenching my jaw with rage My teeth feel better now too.

* (this was the main duty of my previous employment)

I still luuuurves my diary and the lovely, sane people I know from off the Internets, but it's nice to not have DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMA as your main source of amusement for 8 hours on end.

Don't listen to Joan Crawford, wire hangers are ALWAYS in style.

Abortion rights in this country are basically a lost cause. I'm just waiting for the day when pill packets are burned in the public square. After all, a woman who lets a penis enter her vagina UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES outside of the MOST HOLY BONDS OF WEDLOCK is a WHORE (this I learned from the Internets!) and wholly deserves to have her eggs fertilized whether she likes it or not.

As far as I'm concerned, there should be equality on this issue. Since human eggs are obviously sancrosanct, even though the body gets rid of one or two every month in a bloody mess, human sperm should be treated in the same fashion. Therefore I think that blow jobs should be counted as a form of (at least attempted) cannibalism and punished as premeditated murder on the man's part. Many, many premeditated murders, actually.

Anyway I must be off as my body is about to betray the culture of life by murdering half of a precious potential baby, possibly even letting it fall into my toilet in an act of utter depravity.