the purpose of going anywhere is to brag about it later
2005-06-14

Christ. Why are all the banners on this site so bad? And why do I keep clicking on them?

Today I was wandering around the house, speaking to my cats, Grisabella and Mr. Tibbles, WHOM I CALL MY FUR CHILDREN. I was asking them a question. That question was, "If I can watch shitty knockoffs of British reality shows, why can't I watch 'Footballers' Wives?' WHY WHY WHY?" Then I threw Mr. Tibbles against the wall in frustration.

Guess what? OMG IT IS ON NOW!

I HAVE A MAGICKAL PSYCHIC LINK TO MY TELEVISION! MYSTERIOUSLY SENSING OUT SHITTY ITV DERIVED PROGRAMMING!

The part about the cats isn't true. I just put that in there so I would be less ashamed about knowing about "Footballers' Wives." I really should try to be a different type of Anglophile so I can quote stuff instead of being all "Ooooh 'Celebrity Chain Gang Bang' has finally come to America!"

My knowledge of other cultures is strictly limited to their trash despite the fact that my lifestyle should have broadened my mind. I LIVED IN EUROPE AND ALSO HAVE BEEN TO CANADA WHERE I ATE THE BACON. WHY CAN I NOT EVEN IMPRESS OTHER AMERICANS WITH MY KNOWLEDGE?*

Here's a commemorative portrait of me protecting freedom round the world.

*I have been to other places too but I can't bother to dredge up all my mystic knowledge to impress you, the reader. Sorry. Fucktard.