God wants me to pay my rent, biyotch
2005-10-03

It's time for High Holidays again, otherwise known as The Holidays I Do Not Celebrate Except Sometimes Yom Kippur Because I Believe a Day of Fasting Will Make Me Thin.

Basically I don't care about missing holidays in and of themselves but I do care when people find out I am Jewish, then ask me why I am still at work and not at temple. I can't just say "Well, I don't really care enough to know when the holidays are so I can't get off work in time and besides if I took a day off I'd end up sleeping in and watching Star Trek reruns instead of doing anything religious" so I shrug and then everybody thinks I'm evil and irreligious. Which is quite probably true, actually.

I would go home to be with my parents but the only reason they go is because my grandmother is still alive and there are free services at her nursing home. Otherwise, they would probably just make a nice chicken and call it a day. I can't blame them as I think you have to have a membership to get tickets to the services, which only costs 3,000 DOLLARS! My father doesn't even understand Hebrew so he's basically paying for the psychological equivalent of watching a few hours of "Telemundo," only without the Bee Man and with a pitch in the middle to give to the synagogue (I guess that would be more like PBS).

I feel slightly guilty about the whole thing but oh well, I am already broke and I don't need to start up another expensive habit (I suppose I could go to the Chabad Lubavitch service but that would absolutely kill my poor parents). All the other religions are free as I remember, why did I have to be born into the pay-for-play one?